I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
