Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
