I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
