Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize