Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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