U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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