how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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