some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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