This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I need to calm my uterus...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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