he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
