You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
