stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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