is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Randomize
