This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize