I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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