dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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