I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
