IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
