You're my little dorito
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
