omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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