I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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