Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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