i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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