I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats