I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.