I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"