Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.