you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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