Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
