im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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