so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
