to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
