Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
