I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
