I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just pee around me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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