2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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