no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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