Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
