just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
