New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
