Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(718): View more from New York

The gym has a pool

(914): View more from New York

my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Oh that's normal

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(609): View more from New Jersey

That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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(425): View more from Washington

Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I don’t understand his energy

(1-256): View more from Alabama

What? Nice? Lmao

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