Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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