I feel like abortions should bother me more
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
