so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
