Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
