you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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