do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
