So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
