HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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