Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
