I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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