when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
