Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Someone signed my nipple.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
