my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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