Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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