She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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