the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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