Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
