so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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