it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
