I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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