that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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