No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
