but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
