I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How's work?
Spinning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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