Porn is love you can see.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
