Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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