D3 body, D1 cock
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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