Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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