ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
