Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There are leaves in my underwear?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
