dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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